In light of the recent sexual assault victims bravely coming forth with their traumas, I have a little something for you men, who haven’t physically assaulted a woman but daily harass with your unwanted “compliments” or looks. 

I am a woman

The strongest being that withstands much more than any man could ever comprehend.  

On a daily basis. 

And my struggles are not imagined but rather imposed by a society that attempts to fit, in the newsstands, a variety of body shapes into one prototype:

a 26-inch size waist, voluptuous breasts and bums, with hair iridescently shiny. 

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And what about the rest of us? 

When we are constantly pressured to believe these standards are the wanted ones and our bodies are the wrong puzzle pieces. 

How do we love ourselves then? 

Many of us have managed to slowly remove the gangrenous roots out of our pretty little heads, 

to begin accepting what a unique genetic composition we are.  

To go against all beauty lessons we were taught.

And it isn’t easy, there are fallbacks

There are moments where a slight frigid comment regresses our progress to our brainwashed state of mind.  

But for the sake of time, let’s say we’ve moved on.  Continue reading

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Art by Erin Armstrong 

It’s time to have “the talk”

A few weeks ago, Procter & Gamble released a “controversial” commercial on having the race talk. The video, full of emotive scenes and realities, depicts throughout the decades the obstacles and lessons Black parents have had to express to their children, even to this day. The main lesson being taught? Teaching children of color how to build resilience to combat racism. 

As defined by Google, resilience is: the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

In other words, you are building a protection and an ability to snap back from adversity. Sounds hard and it is, but as we recently have seen, racism is very much alive in the U.S. And, because of the constant afflictions thrown at parents of color, it is easy to forget our future is in our children. We mustn’t forget we have a large influence on who and how they grow up to be. Our children, who are inevitably viewing the unnecessary deaths, venomous hatred, and hostility through millions of portable screens, are absorbing the information that seems almost impossible to filter out. What we need to be asking ourselves is, how do we prepare children of color for the reality, rather than let them fend for themselves?

Now, before you rant off on thinking I am defending a political party, I will show you why “the talk” needs to be had, based on our beloved science. 

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), resilience is: “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems or workplace and financial stressors. It means ‘bouncing back’ from difficult experiences… Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in anyone.”

Hard, but doable. 

“…kids who experienced more racism…were more likely to report sleep troubles, mood swings, difficulty concentrating or other symptoms of depression.”

But then… shouldn’t we just consistently shield children from being mistreated? Yes, but we can’t. Parents cannot entirely protect them from the exterior world, they cannot hide them from all the school mates, neighbors, store clerks, teachers, social media, anyone and everyone. Is it fair? Absolutely not. Children are children, they know no differences unless they are taught, they know no hate, unless they are taught. Their main concern should be to play, learn, and continue expanding their imaginatively rich curiosity. And it isn’t fair some children are to be burdened with learning how to defend themselves when parents cannot protect, they shouldn’t have to. But they must.

Because racial differences start young:

“Most children actively notice and think about race. A new study has found that children develop an awareness about racial stereotypes early, and that those biases can be damaging… it can affect how they respond to everyday situations, ranging from interacting with others to taking tests. For example, African American and Latino youths who were aware of broadly held stereotypes about their groups performed poorly on a standardized test, confirming the negative stereotype in a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

And by 9? 

“…kids who experienced more racism…were more likely to report sleep troubles, mood swings, difficulty concentrating or other symptoms of depression.”

All ages? 

“…findings suggest that discrimination experience can have biological impacts in pregnancy and across generations… increase stress hormones that tax the body’s immune system, and over time can erode physical health.”

Not only does racism aggressively affect humans on an emotional, self-esteem, and psychological level, but long exposures of discrimination can even begin to affect people on a physical level (don’t even get me started on epigenetics). However difficult and painful it may be, we must begin teaching our children to arm themselves with resilience, because racism affects ALL age groups.

Furthermore,

if you are interested on beginning the talk with your children, read these tips on age appropriateness, how to‘s, and much more: http://www.apa.org/pi/res/parent-tips.pdf

Here is the commercial produced by Procter & Gamble: 

Thought #9: Bush, no bush, your choice

f4edba6394a31118132668a6811697a6.jpgI received my first bikini wax when I was 16, when I was young, naive, and easily corrupted. My teenage-hood wasn’t one that caused my parents headaches or involved nightly escapades to drink beer acquired from bums outside the local 7/11. I was relatively calm, confused, and enthralled by things most teenagers paid no mind to (holler in classic rock, magical realism literature, and British TV shows). But I did get my first bikini wax when I was 16. 

I can’t remember the exact reasons why, but it probably had to do with the media molding me into looking a very unreachable idyllic way, one that I still fight with today (I’m winning the battle I promise!). Continue reading “Thought #9: Bush, no bush, your choice”

Dear White People Review

It is no secret our social, political, and even environmental climate (see what I did there?) has been under severe division as of late. You can blame it on many happenings in the past months, to resurface long awaited conflicts of race, gender, and the rights of many that are “different” from your average American stereotype. Regardless of the reasons, this resisting and outcry of uncomfortable polarizing views and all the -isms, has been long due. Yet, out of all what may like seem a shit hole for many, multiple doors of unity have been opened. I will expand on this on another post, but for now, Dear White People. 

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Lately, and I mean a little more than 6 months lately, I have been “woke.” 

Woke: a word from African American Vernacular English which refers to an awareness of issues concerning social justice and racial justice. The related phrase stay woke refers to a continuing awareness of these issues. 

And strangely to my being, I have always considered myself a relatively progressive person on many issues, but never blind. Surely, as a Hispanic who grew up in a majority white community I was still able to see and understand the hardships of other minorities… right? Wrong. And as you have it, in my past what always seemed to me like a relatively docile school system erupted into a thread of falsehoods.

But let’s backtrack. Continue reading “Dear White People Review”